Dusty
The
trouble with best friendship is that, at the beginning, you don’t absolutely
have to agree on the conditions of the contract.
There are no terms.
There is no lease.
With a boyfriend or
girlfriend you ask, “Do you want to?” and they either say, “Yes,” or, “No.” And
then, with that acceptance, comes an accord. An alliance. An anniversary. Or,
with that denial, a good mopy walk. But, unlike the defining moment of a proposed
romance, with friendship you don’t usually ask for it.
You announce it.
“You’re my best friend.”
That declaration, though,
doesn’t always invite a conversation about your feelings; how you came to that
conclusion. Because the person you say it to doesn’t necessarily have to feel
the exact same way for it to continue on being true for you. Which can be confusing.
But the worst part, far and away, is that it doesn’t entitle you to a good breakup
when it’s truly over.
And knowing when
something is over is nice.
Because knowing anything
is nice.
And not knowing blows
whale dick.
To most people, it may
have been shockingly obvious why things had started to feel differently between
them. Why Copeland had been so distant.
School was over.
There was a girl.
But Dusty didn’t see those
things. Partly because he was a few credits short and hadn’t actually graduated
with them. And all of his most meaningful relationships with the opposite sex had
been nonconventional; or just plain strange. And a lack of shared experiences
divides people like a fart in an elevator. But mostly Dusty was just refusing to
see it. Refusing to acknowledge the truth.
Copeland’s life was
changing.
And their friendship was
changing with it.
So Dusty’s life was changing,
too.
For him, things had been happy
for a while now, where they had been plainly miserable for the long while
before, and he would have fought to the death to protect that.
But there was no fight
here.
And certainly no fight he
could win.
So he followed Copeland
back up the cliff, back up the rope, and did his absolute best to ignore just
how scared he was that it all might be over.
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